Eighty weeks after eating a stake, Contador will finally be judged on it

When Francesco Schettino, the captain of the doomed Costa Concordia claimed that he "tripped and fell into a life boat" which took off before he had the chance to get out, his excuse went down in history as the second worst/best (depending on how you look at it) excuse of all time behind only that of Alberto Contador who once claimed his positive test for the banned substance Clenbuterol was the work of a tainted piece of meat he eat during a Tour de France rest day.

That incident involving Contador happened a long time ago. You may or may not remember it, but if you think long and hard and look into your hazy past you might well recall the moment it broke. Yes that really was eighty weeks ago . . . I know, I know, you thought it was much longer than that the way it's been dragged out, but now after more delays than a New York airport at Christmas, we're finally about to hear the verdict of the doping case and it's appeal to end all doping cases and their appeals.

"If I’m ever found guilty then an innocent person will have been condemned," sobbed Contador last October while this process was still in full flow. "I’ve always encouraged the fight against doping, and now things are turning against me," he continued.

Did I mention the meat was ingested some eighty weeks ago? Eighty weeks ago the world was a very different place to what it is now. I was an unmarried man without a kid on the way, Australia had never had a Tour de France winner, Liverpool were still under the command of Rafael Benitez and under the control of Gillette and Hicks, Osama Bin Laden was very much running Al Quida, Colonel Gaddafi was the leader of Lybia, and Lance Armstrong was still a free man... err, wait . . . ignore than last bit.

To figure out who is going to win the case, you simply have to call innocent as heads, guilty as tails and then flip the coin to see what comes up. I dare say they'll take it more seriously at the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) which is the current level (and last level) at which this long and winding saga has taken us.

Contador obviously professes his innocence. "I am one of the five most tested athletes in the world. Do you think I’d risk doing something wrong?" he asked sounding very much like that impregnable fortress of moral fortitude that is Lance Armstrong. Well, why didn't you say so sooner Alberto...in that case, throw out the charges and let this man go. For crying out loud, he's one of the five most tested men in the world.

Ah, but if only it were so simple. We knew deep down in our hearts that this thing was going to drag out as long as it has and innocent or guilty, it no longer really matters. Regardless of the verdict, we just want any verdict so that once we celebrate the guilt of a cheat or the innocence of a free man, we can get on with our lives without ever having to read about it / listen to it / or debate it again. Until the next one, that is.

TCS Broomwagon prediction: *flips coin, comes up heads* -- NOT GUILTY, and cleared, with a reputation tarnished but as winner of the 2012 Tour de France.

Update: Alberto was found guilty, stripped of that Tour title and had the majority of his suspension backdated.