UCI confirm that I won't win the Tour de France

The offices of Pat McQuaid at the UCI headquarters

For weeks now, ever since USADA's report broke with their recommendation that Lance Armstrong be stripped of his seven Tour de France titles, I have been living in hope that perhaps the UCI will see fit to grant them to myself. I had two reasons to believe this might be possible and so you can see why perhaps I was a little saddened yesterday to learn that they were giving them to nobody. I had to assume too many people -- like numerous kids screaming for not enough chocolate -- led the UCI to say, "right, if that's how you're going to behave, nobody's getting them".

The first reason I thought I stood a chance was because I was a bike racer who has never doped. In the grand pyramid of the cycling system, with Mount Everest being the top where Lance once stood (he's currently swimming the with fishes), and the bottom being the depth of the deepest Ocean, I'm probably hovering in and around the Titanic. But there had to be this chance that they were all a bunch of dopers right the way through the system as far as me and that's why I was as low down the ladder as I was and thus the best option to reward those Tours to. Heck, for a while I even pronounced myself "7 time winner of the Tour de France ... by default," on my Twitter page.

The truth shall... get you fired

Bobby Julich (left) in his not-so-glory days on the 1998 Tour de France podium with Marco Pantani (middle) and Jan Ullrich (right).

Yesterday former American rider Bobby Julich decided enough was enough and in keeping with a new trend that has emerged in recent weeks, told all about his sordid doping past in cycling in an open letter. 'Enough with the lies,' he must have thought, 'let's come clean once and for all,' and when he did, it cost him his job with Team Sky.

Julich was a coach with the Sky Team, who off the back of recent admissions of former and current professionals across the sport, sat down with each member of their own team and asked them about their past. They got everyone to sign up to a new anti-doping policy that gave the team the right to let them go if it emerged they were involved in doping practices. Julich understood this, but came clean anyway.

"I have recently made a full confession to Team Sky senior management about my doping history and understand that by doing so I will no longer be able to work for a dream team performing my dream job," wrote the American.

The route for the 100th edition of the Tour de France looks epic

It's going to be a spectacular route for 2013. Let's hope the riders make it a spectacular race. Photograph: AFP

At first glance, the 2013 Tour de France route looks mouth watering. Two trips up Alp d'Huez on the same day, two individual time-trials, a team-time-trial, four mountain top finishes, a visit to Mont-Saint-Michel, and a night finish in Paris that will see the riders loop up and around the Arc de Triumph for the first time.

It certainly appears to be a race of firsts with the clear intention of the organisors to make it a memorable one for the 100th Tour. The race starts on the island of Corsica with three stages that could potentially see a sprinter snag the Yellow jersey from day one, a scenario that is surely mouth watering for Mark Cavendish.

From there the race hits the south coast of France for a team-time-trial in Nice. I was in Nice last summer for my honeymoon ... in fact, it'll be two years to the day that I arrived in Nice that they'll run the TTT and only highten to make me wish they'd started this whole Tour de France thing two years earlier meaning this 100th anniversary route took place in 2011.

Dreams of France; More on Lance; and McQuaid blasts Hamilton and Landis: An ode to cycling news today

Which small towns will the race visit next year?

TOUR DE FRANCE ROUTE UNVEILING ALLOWS ME TO DREAM FOR A LITTLE WHILE

Before I get started, let me ask a question: Anyone else hoping the unavailing of the Tour de France route for 2013 tomorrow will, at least for a day (or even a few hours), cool the obsession and non-stop beating of the drum that is the Lance Armstrong saga? It's all been quite interesting at times, but it's also getting a bit old and here's hoping that in revealing tomorrow's tour route, we get a little break from it all and remember that there's still cycling going on in the present.

So how about the unveiling of the route? It's always a fun day for cycling fans to see what exactly the organisers have in store for us, and given the way the race format has chopped and changed in recent years, it's hard to know just what we're going to get. Some people say more climbing, some say even more time-trialing. I say, whatever they come out with will make for a great race and also for some quality day dreaming.

I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard. When the route comes out I trace the route around France looking at the various stops and start to wish I had the money and the time to head off there next July and watch the race pass. From some quaint little French village in the middle of the country, to some warm sea-side city on the south coast, to a hair-pin bend on the side of one of the Alpine giants. I'll scope out where I would love to watch the race, then face reality and scope out which stages I'll have to make sure I make time for to watch on my television.

McQuaid: "Armstrong has no place in cycling" ... won't resign himself

What a waste of time that turned out to be. Photograph: AFP/Getty

Lance Armstrong is on more than just drugs now ... he's on a banned for life list courtesy of the UCI. As I sit here writing this, I have now won as many Tours de France as him and that's quite the achievement for someone who has won but two mountain bike races (all this year) in the past decade.

Yes, pull up Wikipedia and search 'Tour de France winners' and already you'll see the word 'Vacated' in place of where it used to say Lance Armstrong seven times between 1999 and 2005. Greg LeMond is once again the only American to have won cycling's biggest prize.

Speaking before a collection of cycling hacks, UCI head-suit, Pat McQuaid confirmed what we knew and did what we expected he would do when left with no more rugs with which to sweep allegations against Lance Armstrong under. He confirmed his old pal, Lance Armstrong had been stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned from cycling for life.

UCI set to announce Monday that Armstrong was "a very naughty boy"

Pat McQuaid set to condem Lance Armstrong and auction off his titles. Photograph: AFP

Lance Armstrong is set to hear exactly what his old pals at the UCI really think about him on Monday when cycling's top federation have said they will give their judgement on the USADA case. It's expected that chief blazer, Pat McQuaid, President of the UCI will take to a podium surrounded by microphones and flashbulbs and reveal that, yes, Armstrong was,  "A very naughty boy".

As part of this they will reaffirm their own commitment to anti-doping, and confirm that not even bribes in the form of an anti-doping machine will save you. They will then announce that the winner of the seven Tours de France that Armstrong has been stripped of will be put up for auction on ebay to the highest bidder. Early reports that Armstrong himself might bid to buy his titles back are as yet unconfirmed as are those that suggest McQuaid might even take a run at the years 1999 and 2002.

Sadly amid the joy and elation of seeing another dagger -- to follow those by the USADA, his old tell-tail-team-mates, the fans, the media, Phil Liggett, Nike and Nike -- being sunk into Armstrong, as well as the titles auction, the UCI will announce that Don, Hein Verbruggen, will keep his position as company commander.

The back of him would be too much to ask for, of course, so we'll settle with Armstrong, for now.

News of Mark Cavendish signing for OPQS breaks the tedium of continued doping stories

It became clear as the season went on that Cav was looking away. Photograph: Sirotti

Thank you Omega Pharma Quick Step. Thank you Mark Cavendish. Just when the fallout from the 'Lance Armstrong was a big-fat really-fit cheat' was beginning to get a little tedious what with non-stop stories about the history of doping in cycling going round and round and round, you guys go out and give us something different ... a new piece of news ... something that can make us debate what it means for racing in 2013 from a racing perspective.

With this move the shackles of Sky are now off the ankles of Cavendish and he can once again be the main man with a lead-out train built around him. Sky were right to pour their efforts into Bradley Wiggins once it became clear he was capable of winning the Tour de France, and it proved to be the right move. Winning the Yellow jersey is more important than the Green, and infinitely more important than winning stages, and I think even Cavendish would accept that, but it was clear he had to move on to pastures new because of it.

At OPQS, stage wins and a Green jersey at the Tour will be one of the major goals, along with results in the spring classics. With Tom Boonen set up nicely to win the later, signing Cavendish is the perfect coup for the former. People will talk about how they'll work Boonen v Cavendish, but I don't see it being a problem because of the races each will target. Boonen isn't the pure sprinter he once might have been -- if he was ever a pure sprinter -- and if he does ride in the Tour, I reckon he'll be more than glad to play the roll of leadout man. Boonen has become the all-rounder in recent years as seen by his results earlier this season, and that shouldn't change in 2013 with Cavendish now on board.

Phinney calls out the caffeine pill poppers

The coffee stop could be a moral minefield for the weekend warrior in the not to distant future

You love your local clubs coffee run on a Saturday and Sunday morning, right? Well, it could be put in serious jeopardy if clean-racing all-American boy, Taylor Phinney has his way. He's suggested any form of pain-killer and caffeine should be made an illegal performance enhancer and that he doesn't dabble in such substances unlike the majority of the professional peloton.

Alright, so Phinney was talking more about pain killers and caffeine in tablet form rather than in your coffee cup or coke can and he himself even admitted that he still drinks coke during a race, but it's a slippery slope we're talking about here.

If we're to ban anything that aids in the enhancement of a cyclists performance starting with pain killers and caffeine tables, won't coffee be next, followed shortly after by energy gels, electrolyte mixes, tri-bars, race radio's, bikes that the poorest man in the race cannot afford, and so on and so forth?

It's easy to get lazy in the off-season

Cycling's off-season isn't clearly defined and it all depends what level of cycling you ride at as to when it comes and goes, if indeed it comes and goes at all.

To the hardened pro it ends when your team tells you it ends, probably sometime around late September and it runs until your team meets in a warm climate in December to ride loads of miles ahead of a new season in January. That's not how it works for me, though I wouldn't mind the trip to a warm climate for a few weeks in early December, but come January, I'll be surrounded by a world up to it's knees in snow.

That's why I can't be the year-rounder either. You know, the kind of weekend warrior who gets fit for the summer season but then when that ends can spend the rest of the year enjoying his rides until spring when it becomes time to up the fitness anti once more. Well I can. There are people around here in Southern Ontario who will find a way to ride all year round, and all the power to them, but that ain't for me.

The model pro knows when and how to say sorry

A simple tear and a the word 'sorry' might yet save Armstrong. Photograph: Reuters

It would seem the way to do it in modern cycling is to begin your professional career by cheating like hell. Drug up and drug often, and win races until you are caught. Then in a teary press conference in front of the cycling world break down in apology.

Say sorry to your team, your fellow pros, your friends and don't forget your family, then after serving your ban (don't forget to keep your prize money!) come back as a staunch anti-doping advocate. You'll be welcomed back with open arms and remembered more as a once lost sheep now back in the fold as opposed to a one time cheat. If worst comes to the worst and you don't get caught, then you'll finish up your career as a very good rider as opposed to a decent rider.

It's tried and tested and you don't need examples here of cyclists who have used it. Saying that, it would appear cycling and its fans hold their contempt of cheating to a higher standard. Even British football fans dismay at the corruption of good English boys by foreign divers is vastly outweighed by cycling fans hate of a doper.

What is my stance on the whole Armstrong issue and cycling's fight against drugs in general?

Now that we know it wasn't real, we can begin to move on. Photograph: Getty Images

October 10, 2012. Fourteen years and three months after we got stung in the face about the reality of doping within cycling at a systematic level as the Tour de France opened in Dublin, Ireland in July 1998, we finally hear the chilling truth about how the supposed 'new era' as it was presented to us after 1998 was as dirty as any before it.

That isn't to say we didn't have a fair idea for some time now, but yesterday was the confirmation ... the evidence we've been waiting for. And not just against Lance Armstrong who dominated the seven years after the '98 Festina Affair, but the testimonies of those who fessed up publicly about about what went on. It only took those fourteen years, but maybe now the illusions we had so many times that the sport was turning a corner can now become a reality and with the lid coming off hard on the past, we can allow the present day of cycling which has itself moved on a lot, to truly start pointing towards the future.

After thinking about, reading about and talking about the Armstrong saga for the past twenty-four hours, I took a break from focusing solely on the cycling angle for just a moment while sitting in a Starbucks over lunch and passing the half hour I had before returning to the office. I posted the following comment on Facebook in relation to other sports and the Lance Armstrong investigation: I asked, 'Will Fifa, Uefa and/or national FA's go after teams employing doctors named in the Lance Armstrong investigation with investigations of their own or continue to bury their collective heads in the sand?'

Yates buries head in the sand while Armstrong takes his cheating to Strava

I SAW NUFFIN', HOENSTLY

Team Sky directeur sportif and former team-mate and DS of Armstrong, Sean Yates.

Upon cashing a check made out to him by someone by the name of L. Armstrong, Team Sky directeur sportif, Sean Yates, addressed BBC Radio 5 Live to confirm that he "never saw an indication of anything dodgy going on" during his time as Lance Armstrong's team-mate (1992-1996) or directeur sportif of the Discovery Channel team (2005-2007).

Yates who would have seen plenty that was dodgy going on given everyone else associated with the team from George Hincapie down to the coffee boy appear to have seen something, claims that all he did during his years managing the team was ride his bike in the morning and then drive the car in the afternoon.

The USADA case against Lance Armstrong in full

USADA Reasoned Decision

Someone has just opened the cupboard door in that big witch hunt of Lance Armstrong and have uncovered a stack of witches.

Armstrong contemplates the harsh reality. Photograph: Mark Gunter | AFP

USADA have at last publicly pulled off the lid on their can of worms that is their case against Lance Armstrong ... and the worms are everywhere. The evidence against Lance has finally been exposed proving that it either wasn't a witch hunt at all, or that the witches have shown up at last. Suspensions have been dished out like goody-bags at a child's birthday party to the current riders who testified, two former pros who conveniently retired a few weeks ago released almost identical statements admitting it all and some other guff about wanting to make it better, while there is a deafening silence coming from camp Armstrong.

Well, the later isn't entirely true. The morning began with one of Armstrong's lawyers trying to discredit the USADA investigation once more calling it a waste of tax player dollars in what I can only presume was a last ditch attempt to encourage some to keep their heads in the sand after the days revelations broke. It will have no doubt worked though USADA did hit back by confirming the US Postal Team received tens of millions of American taxpayer dollars in funding.

When the days revelations did break, it came hard and fast with USADA CEO Travis T. Tygart, saying that "The evidence shows beyond any doubt that the US Postal Service Pro Cycling Team ran the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen," beating the East German program from the old Cold War days into second place, I would assume. That's the kind of cycling domination that Lance should be proud of. He may have lost his record of having won the Tour de France the most times but he gained the privilege of being involved in the most professionalized and successful doping program in an era when it was all about systematic doping.

The Tour de King ends the season

The second annual Tour de King took place last weekend and like the year before marked the end of my racing season. Good weather is becoming rarer by the week and it'll be less time than you think before those once hard and dry trails I spent an entire summer on, will be covered in snow. Thankfully last Sunday was one of those good days which was in stark contrast to the Tour de King of 2011.

I wouldn't say it was hot ... certainly not by comparison to the best of the summer months and had the temperatures been what they were for one ride in the middle of July we'd have complained about how cold it was, but for the last day of September it was a comfortable 15 degrees Celsius. Good enough for shorts though I went with a long sleeve top that by the halfway point I wished I could shed but had no conceivable way of doing so.

The Tour de King is a 50 kilometer -- though closer to 40 than 50 kilometers -- race through the township of King, just north of the Greater Toronto Area. It's a point-to-point race over roads, fire roads and single track, meaning that upon finishing you either take a bus back to your car at the start or leave your car at the finish and have a friend give you a ride to the beginning. The final option is to ride back to the start when you finish, which seems well and good given it would still only be a 65km ride all in, but you're never in any mood to traipse along the road back to the start after ploughing through the back roads and single tracks of King for the past two hours.