I don't remember the last time I won a bike race but I think it's safe to say it was longer ago than I care to remember. It probably happened before Lance Armstrong won his first Tour de France if that helps you get any perspective on it. And I probably didn't expect to win one again, at least not if you had asked me anytime in the last half-decade, though I will admit that deep down I knew I
could win again if I had the time, put in the effort and got myself in race shape again.
Such thoughts of 'if' and 'when' were only prevalent prior to about 6.45 p.m. last Tuesday night. That's when I started a race I won. It wasn't the kind of win that guaranteed financial security, sponsorship or my name in the paper, but when you haven't won in a long time and suddenly find it happening, especially when it is most unexpected, you take it.
There I was sitting on my bike at the start line, in the thick of a pack of 110 sport riders at the Kelso mid-week mountain bike race series wondering what trouble the first single track climb might give me and how many people I'd have to scramble to get out of the way of? I didn't force myself to the front of the line because I knew I'd only get in the way ... that's how it has been in the O-Cup races so far this year when I've found myself trolling around near the back of the field and getting caught by the races that start behind mine.
So when things started on the little grass uphill section I casually got underway trying not to run into the slower starters. Then something strange happened. I felt way to strong and everyone else was going much to slow. I turned onto the fire track in about sixth place and couldn't help but look at my heart rate monitor second guessing how I was feeling. Surely I was about to blow.
I tailed someone across to the few that made the fastest start and went into the single track climb in second. How many people were about to roar their displeasure at my pace with a torrent of "on your right" and "on your left's"? But they didn't and by the top I was still on the front mans wheel and there was only three of us emerging from the woods.
'Dammit I feel alright,' I thought to myself. 'Stick with this guy and see what you have come the second lap.' But then on the rocky path climb that I thought would finally expose me I rode into the lead and away from the rest.
Now let me be clear. This isn't the big-time. There is no post-race urine samples taken ... but if there were...? Well, I'm certain I'd be just fine, but I wondered if perhaps someone had laced my water bottle with something because I don't belong at the front. It would have been amusing, exciting maybe if I wasn't trying not to over cook it.
The rest of that first lap was catching, being paced for a little bit by, and eventually moving ahead of those who started in the expert race in front. I tried to ease off a little, to conserve something for the second run up the single track climb but my curiosity over whether I might survive won over and I pressed on.
The second time up that climb was harder, I didn't dare look over my shoulder but my ears strained for the sound of a twig snapping behind me, the grunt of another rider, the dreaded sound of his tires easing up behind me. It didn't come and I went over the climb. I knew then if I could make it up the rock climb I would be home free as it would be flat and downhill only from then on.
Once over that final climb I knew I had the win. Let me correct that. I thought I had the win. It was then that I started to convince myself that there was at least one other ahead ... someone who got a great start and who disappeared into the trees on the first lap and blazed away. I figured there was little I could do so I shifted my mind to another fear: That the bike could and would break down at any minute. Every rock or log represented a puncture. Then from nowhere my right pedal clipped a rock that flicked the back wheel round. I threw out a leg and just about saved the fall. It snapped me back to concentration as I glided down the last section making sure that I didn't crash and to hell with any mechanical's.
I pushed up to the line and crossed it with my arms on the handlebars. I still wasn't certain I won and didn't want to represent that idiot who throws up the arms only to be told I was second.
Despite all likelihood pointing towards an at-long-last win, I had to wait until the following evening, until the results were posted online, to be sure of the result. "I think I won last night" turned to "I did, I did" after refreshing the events website for the 50th time in twenty-four hours.
It was a nice feeling then and it was a nice feeling crossing the line even if I wasn't certain. I hadn't blown, I hadn't been passed and it was nice to finish like this. It's a feeling that's hard to replicate and one you don't want to go away.